There is even a term used for it …
Talking to my sister one evening, she was telling me that her massculine energy seemed stronger that day, simply because of what she was wearing – polo shirt and trousers. Which, compaired to how she usually dresses like a fairy, really wasnt that common.
I don’t exactly know how we started talking about masculine and feminine energy inherent to every human being, but after a lot of discussion and opinion sharing we concluded that basically every man, that we know, have never once spoken up about this. Most of them not even recognizing that they have a feminine energy. But why is that?! We can talk about this spiritually or scientifically but the thing is: everyone has a feminine and masculine energy and this isn’t necessarily related to sexual orientation.
Spiritually speaking every human has a feminine and a masculine energy. Feminine is more related to the emotions of vulnerability, care, love, passion and the power to see things through. Meanwhile masculine energy is more rational and related to action, trust, braveness, leadership, persistency. It’s outwardly not seeing the wholeness and balance between these two energies that allow a balanced life.
Now scientifically speaking, the analytical psychology, Carl Jung’s School, brings the term Anima which is used to describe the feminine side in men. Jung believed there are different levels of Anima that live in someone’s unconscious, instead of being outwardly expressed. For society norms he believed that men’s sensitivity was often repressed, which means, the anima, the feminine side, affected men’s creative ability. For Jung, anima is the feminine side and animus is the masculine side, the combination of both is called syzygy and represents wholeness and unification— is known as the divine couple.
When carrying out research, It’s a difficult theme to find studies about or even get people talking. Even if you google feminine energy you are most likley going to find “a way to use your feminine energy to attract the right man” and related. It’s one thing to simpley explain it, but another to speak to someone who feels it and can openly talk about it. Someone who is willing to understand if they recognize this energy, how they deal with it, if they believe this energy is repressed, and how it affects their relations. We spoke to Laio (32) and Artur (25) about their experiences with discovering their feminine energy and how they came to terms with it.
“I believe that this polarity masculine and feminine energy is something that everyone has, and I believe that as close as we get to this we are gonna get closer to find a balance. Usually people say that feminine energy is related to emotions, and masculine to rational but I really don’t believe it. If we pay attention we will be able to see that masculine energy is indeed related to rationalism but in a way to justify selfishness. At the end I believe the masculine energy is more about ego and individuality. I look at the feminine energy as a collective energy, which allow us to feel and see as the others, not being selfish.
To deal with this energy is something that I’m still learning and I believe I’ve learning since I was a kid. Although I didn’t know, specifically me who came from a neighborhood where we see violence everyday, and we learn since always to be aggressive, to defend and to be a “man”. Any manifestation of feminine energy is seen as a weakness, on our gestures, the way we dress or even when we talk about our feelings. Men aren’t supposed to think about their feelings, they aren’t supposed to talk about it, and if we can’t look inside of us, how can we look outside and be able to understand it?
We need to be connected with our emotions, with our feelings, this will for sure improve our relations and consequently, the society we live in will be a better placeLaio, 32
I remember a date I had with a girl that I was really into and she said to me “nothing is going to happen between us because it’s clear that you’re gay”, it messed up my head because she was judging me for the way that I express myself. Changing this would make me unhappy but I decided to build a persona anyway, which was more compatible with the patterns of our society and honestly, I failed so badly. I couldn’t keep that “toxic masculinity” mask for long. I saw I was far from this and then with time I could see the girls who’d been with me liked me more, for who I truly was than that persona I created to fit. That was the moment I decided to embrace this famine energy on me.
It improves not only our social relations but also our sexual life because sex is a moment that is pleasing for both sides, not just the men’s satisfactionLaio, 32
We need to be connected with our emotions, with our feelings, this will for sure improve our relations and consequently the society we live in will be a better place. We have an unconscious fear from the feminine, because we’re taught to not connect with it. That the feminine energy is jeopardy to our masculinity. Connecting with our emotions allows us to connect with other people’s emotions, we understand everyone has traumas, history, etc. And honestly, it improves not only our social relations but our sex life because sex is a moment that is pleasing for both sides, not just the men’s satisfaction.”
“I think it is about feelings and connecting with these feelings but of course this is a characteristic inherited to men and women. For me to develop a feminine side, is to develop sensibility, feelings and this capacity to deal better with the emotions. Unfortunately this is an oppressed characteristic but I believe it’s changing a lot in the last years. I feel that I do have this feminine side and I can recognize it, but it’s indeed an influence because I always live far from my father and I always talked to my mom. When I was a teenager and I wanted to talk about girls, I would go and talk to her about it, I developed this side of emotions, I learned to deal with this, but mostly men don’t know how to deal and don’t want to deal with emotions.
When we [men] expose our feelings, we are called a pussyArthur, 25
It’s easy to hear things in our society like “men don’t cry”, “the more (girls) the merrier” in relation to where we are advised to not develop feelings for a woman. Just have fun and that’s it, you don’t need more, don’t get attached—I’m totally against it. But unfortunately when we expose our feelings we are called a pussy. Well, recognizing this feminine side improves our relations. It’s so important to pay more attention on our feelings and others people feelings, to take care of each other, it makes us more empathetic.
It’s not easy to give advice but I can say for you (men) to look inside, understand what you’re feeling and embrace it. Don’t think it’s bullshit.Arthur, 25
I know that it isn’t easy for us men to develop this because of the society we live in. But we need to change this. It’s so important to deal with our emotions, have empathy, it makes everything better. I have many friends and they all think differently but I already feel bad for trying to talk with a friend. Once when I was 15/16 years old, I went to a friend to tell them that I read some messages that I didn’t like and I wasn’t feeling well, and he just said “don’t read it then”. He didn’t recognize I needed someone to talk to. I have more male friends but usually it is quite difficult to talk about feelings/emotions because they’re insensitive. It’s difficult to say something to someone and you feel like the person doesn’t care, and with men it happens so often. It’s not easy to give advice but I can say for you (men) to look inside, understand what you’re feeling and embrace it. Don’t think is bulllshit.”
Photo Credit: Corbis Images
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